Being a single woman

L-R: Beth and Lynn (our hostesses), Katie, Jennifer, and myself
I went to a seminar this past saturday with a couple of friends that was about being a single woman in today's world. It was very enlightening and thought provoking. Here are the notes I took. Read. Ponder. Let me know what you think.

Seminar on Being a Single Woman
Chuck Price

Pressures a single woman deals with on a daily basis
1. Our worldly culture: so focused on romantic love that it is very hard to get a biblical view of a loving relationship between men and women. (i.e. chick flicks, must have a man)
2. Our church culture: single women are forgotten in the church culture. (i.e. no real instructions for us in living as single women)
3. The Fall: we have adapted a need to be loved. God’s love is not enough for us. (i.e. If I do not have a husband to love me, then something is wrong.)
4. Hormones: these create a driven sense to be married and to nest and all other pressures build into this pressure. Women are most vulnerable during this type of hormonal season because they are impaired in decision making. (i.e. dating, getting engaged to, and marrying the first guy who shows the slightest bit of interest, not going through proper stages of relationships, not paying attention to key signals that are alarming)

*If you come from a background of neglect or abuse you have a greater risk of giving into pressures and settling for someone who is not God’s best for you.
*If you are single and in your late 20’s-30’s you may see yourself as a victim, that you have done something wrong and that is why you are still single.


Several Myths that are not biblical
1. Being married is better than being single
- 52% of U.S. adults are single or single again
-God’s original design was for 1 man for 1 woman. But with the fall, sin was
introduced and brokenness followed.
-marriage is forever, if you are in a marriage that is not what God intended
because you settled…is that really better than being single? (don't be hast in getting married because it is forever)
2. Your missing out if you are not married.
-this is either a stated or implied myth
-God didn’t call you to be happy, he called you to be obedient
-Life is not about self fulfillment, biblically it is about self sacrifice
-You will eventually find fulfillment if you are obedient
-A lot of people find themselves saying “I did the hard thing for God and look at
me now, I’m alone.” This goes back to self fulfillment
-being single gives us only God to rely on during those hard times and that can
build our track record of trusting God with adversity. When those tough times come, we know that God has our back and we can trust him and we can deal better with adversity because He is the only one we can rely on.
-“I am not living the life that I intended but I am living the life that God is blessing.” This woman is not a victim.
3. You’ll be married by 30 and if you're not something is wrong with you.
- women tend to be more aware of self
-God can choose to bless us anyway he wants


*Purity and Suffering are not taught in church a lot

*The best thing anyone can ever do to be prepared for marriage is to work through your issues now. Because as a single all you have are YOUR issues. When you are married and haven’t dealt with your issues they become magnified because there are now two people dealing with these issues.

*Lets get healthier singles that can contribute to the body of Christ without the need of being married.

*Singleness is a gift to be sold out to HIM and obedient to HIM.

*The idea is not to find a relationship with a guy, but to be ready for it if God brings a man into your life

*Love hunger is not fulfilled with another person no matter who it is because of the fall. Love is only fulfilled by the ONE who IS love.

*True love is not getting, true love is giving.

*Withdraw is the best way to wall one another out and shut down (most destructive behavior)

*If we are in the center of God’s will, we are in the center of His provision.

*God has a will, I have a need. God places needs in our life to have us come to him.

Books that he recommended:
- Boundaries by Henry Cloud
- Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud
- The Mom Factor by Henry Cloud
(He is going to send an e-mail and recommend other books)

If you can’t identify your issues…he encouraged to start journaling.
Reflect on 3-4 things that happened during your day (positive and negative)
Make columns
1. describe event
2. describe what happened
3. how did I feel
4. how did I respond
Look for coping mechanism (either good or bad)

Women need healthy relationships with men. He encouraged us to pursue healthy relationships. Have a safe sounding board. Hang out with couples.

We have to stop letting Satan make singleness = victim

Be honest about what is in your heart with God
-be vulnerable and intimate with HIM
-Lay it before Him and go about pursuing your life that God has planned for you.

Putting your life on hold while waiting for a husband is not biblical.

Eph 4:11-16 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. 14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work

V 13 and v 15 should be our prayer goals

A couple of things to keep in mind:
*Hurting people hurt people
*Pursue relationships of friendships because it is those relationships that last even in marriage